Depravicus Read online

  "An excellent idea. So, tell me about these games."

  "The girls love to play ride and squeak."

  "Sounds interesting."

  "It is. They ride and squeak... I won't say too much."

  "They ride and squeak... I know exactly what you're talking about. What time and where?"

  "There's a church about a mile down the lane. We meet behind the church and then go into the woods."

  "Yes, I passed the church on my way here."

  "We'll be there at ten o'clock."

  "Fine, I'll be there. Do I need to bring anything?"

  "The girls like something to suck on," Will smiled as the man downed his pint.

  "Say no more, Father. Right, I'd better be going. Until tomorrow."

  "Ten o'clock behind the church."

  "Right you are. And I'll have something pretty tasty for the girls to suck on."

  As the man left Will laughed out loud. He was obviously a spy sent by the Mother Slagger or Father Kosher. Perhaps he was a newspaper reporter, Will ruminated, recalling Josie's quest to defile and defrock him when she'd first arrived in the village. Serving the customers he pondered a plan. The man would probably turn up with a camera, or an accomplice. They'd be out to expose him, but they were going to fail most miserably. Forewarned was forearmed, he reflected, his devious plan formulating.

  Slipping into the kitchen and answering the phone, he cringed as he heard the Bishop's voice. This was all he needed just when he'd opened the bar. With the young waitress hopefully on her way to his den of iniquity, the cash beginning to roll in... Just when things were going well, the Bishop was asking awkward questions about Father Kosher's church and the surrounding woods.

  "I'm not with you, Bishop," Will sighed. "You say that I was seen lurking in Father Kosher's church and then in the woods with two girls?"

  "That's right, Entercock. You were wearing your cassock, which is forbidden. And to top it all, the girls were naked."

  "When was this, Bishop? I've been here, at my house, all day."

  "Earlier this afternoon. You were seen, so there's no point..."

  "Ah, I did go into the village and partake in tea and cream cakes at ye olde tea shoppe. Constable Bridlington will confirm my presence in the village and the waitress will..."

  "When was that?"

  "Around four o'clock."

  "I'm talking about earlier this afternoon, Entercock. Between two and three-ish."

  "At two o'clock I was here, working in the garden. At three-ish, I decided to take a shower and then I..."

  "Presumably, you're going to deny putting posters up in the village?"

  "No, no not at all. That's what I was doing later when Constable..."

  "I don't like it, Entercock."

  "I did my best with the design. And I printed them on my..."

  "I'm not talking about the ruddy posters."

  "Ruddy posters, Bishop?"

  "I don't like what you're doing. Wearing your cassock, sneaking around the woods, and now you've some hair-brained idea about opening your own church."

  "To be honest, it was the Reverend Mother's idea. She suggested that I..."

  "Don't lie to me, Entercock. I've just been talking to the Reverend Mother. A young lady went running to her in a state of severe distress. Apparently you were in the woods with her and her friend."

  "Was I? I have no recollection of the aforementioned girls in the woods."

  "You'll stop this nonsense immediately. No posters, no church, no wearing your cassock, no lurking in the woods, no..."

  "Ah, that reminds me. Did the KGB get in touch with you?"

  "What? What on earth are you talking about, man?"

  "The KGB. They're after Josie, my beloved partner in life, and they..."

  "I'm not going to listen to your insane ramblings, Entercock. Unless you stop wearing your cassock and..."

  "And stop lurking in the woods?"

  "Yes, that's... Ah, so you admit it."

  "Bishop, if I were to take six girls into the woods, strip them naked, shave their pussies, lick them all over and then fuck them, there'd be absolutely nothing you could do about it."

  "Right, if that's your attitude..."

  "It is, Bishop. You and your church have nothing to do with me. You have no power over me."

  "That's as maybe, but I'll tell you this. You're going to regret this day, Entercock. You've roused my wrath and I intend to see to it that you end up in the gutter. I'll make sure that you..."

  "I have to go now, Bishop. There's a lovely girl in my bed and she's calling out for another fuck. Good day to you."

  Shit, Will thought, replacing the receiver and rubbing his weal-lined cock. It was all very well winding the fanny-faced Bishop up, but the man did have clout. He knew people in high places, not to mention the police force, and could make life extremely difficult, if not impossible. There again, Will wasn't prepared to suck up to the pimple-nosed git. Or suck off. "Argh!" he breathed. "Perish the thought." The doorbell ringing, he dashed through the hall. If this was the Reverend Slagger or Kosher the cunter...

  "Ah," he smiled, finding the horny waitress standing on the step. "Please, come in. I'm so glad you could make it."

  "Thank you," she said, stepping into the hall. "You didn't pay for the tea and cream cakes."

  "Didn't I? Oh, well..."

  "I'll let you off this time. I didn't tell you my name. I'm Lana."

  "My friends call me Will. I have no idea why, but not to worry. Er... Please, come through to the bar."

  "You have a bar?" she frowned, tossing her long black locks over her naked shoulder.

  "Indeed, I do," Will grinned. And a cock in dire need of her hot wet mouth. "This is my opening night."

  "I've never heard of a priest having a bar in his house."

  "Neither have I," Will chuckled, leading her into the bar. "I'm somewhat unorthodox when it comes to the priesthood, or anything else for that matter. I do like your short skirt. Red is my favourite colour."

  "Mine, too," she smiled.

  Red panties? "What would you like to drink?"

  "Can we have some service here, old man?" the Major asked. "Oh, and who is this delightful little beauty?" he grinned, his waxed moustache twitching as he eyed the girls nipples pressing through the cotton of her tight T-shirt.

  "I'm Lana," the girl replied.

  "And she's mine," Will broke in. "I mean, she's my guest. Lana, what would you like?"

  "Vodka and tonic, please."

  "One vodka and tonic coming up. And another large scotch for you, Major?"

  "Damned right, old man. So, Lana, what brings you to this den of iniquity?"

  "Father Will invited me."

  "Did he now? You'll have to allow me to show you around the garden."

  "She doesn't want to see the garden," Will whispered through gritted teeth, placing the drinks on the bar and glaring at the Major. "Besides, the garden is out of bounds to the customers."

  "I quite like gardening," Lana said, sipping her vodka.

  "I'll show you the garden later," Will smiled, eyeing the girl's deep cleavage. "Major, why don't you go and talk to someone else?"

  "I'd rather talk to this little beauty, if it's all the same to you. I haven't seen you around the village before, Lana. Have you been here long?"

  "Only a week or so, Major. I've just got a job in the tea shop. That's where I met Father Will."

  "I'll have to call into the tea shop," the Major chortled. "There's nothing I like more than a pretty little waitress with huge..."

  "Lana, may I have a word?" Will broke in, walking to the end of the bar.

  "Of course," she replied, leaving the Major and joining Will.

  "I'm looking for bar staff. I know you have your job at the tea shop, but I need someone to run the bar during the evenings."

  "I'd like that very much," she smiled. "I've done bar work before."

  "In that case, would you like to start now?"

  "Yes," sh
e grinned, joining Will behind the bar. "I've been wondering what to do with myself during the evenings."

  He could suggest a thing or two. "We'll talk about money later. Work this evening and see how you feel about it."

  "Nothing's priced," she said, gazing at the optics.

  "Just make it up as you go along. In an hour or so they'll all be so pissed you'll be able to charge what the hell you like. I'll leave you to it, then."

  "Right," she beamed, looking about and familiarizing herself with the layout.

  Another minor problem, Will mused. Not only would Josie discover that her once-beautiful dining room was now a pub, but there was a horny teenager serving behind the bar. The front doorbell ringing, he shook his head. Nothing was easy, he reflected, walking through the hall. Opening the door, he couldn't believe his luck. Sister Crotchly was standing on the step, her tight habit hugging her firm breasts, her pretty face framed by her wimple. A suitcase by her feet, he wondered whether she was leaving Cumsdale.

  "Come in," Will invited her, recalling the girl taking advantage of his when he'd feigned unconsciousness.

  "I'm in big fucking trouble," she sighed, following Will into the lounge and dumping her case on the floor. "The Reverend fucking Mother... She caught me doing something dreadful."

  "Oh?" Will frowned.

  "When I was here and you passed out... Well, I... Your cassock was up and I..."

  "And the Reverend Mother got the wrong idea?"

  "Yes, she did."

  "When I came to, she was standing over me going on about my despicable behaviour. I had no idea what she was talking about. But, now that you've explained what happened, I can see why she was so annoyed."

  "She's written to my fucking stepfather telling him what a dreadful bitch of a girl I am. I didn't fucking do anything, Will. Your cassock was up and..."

  "Worry not, my child," Will said, placing his arm around her. "I shall explain things to your stepfather. After all, I'm a priest. I'm sure he'll understand that, being a man of God, I'm honest, trustworthy, dependable, reliable..."

  "I fucking doubt it."

  "Perhaps you're right."

  "I was wondering whether I could stay here for a few days."

  "But, of course. Take your case upstairs to the front bedroom."

  "I'll change and then come down. Who's that laughing?" she asked as the Major's chuckles resounded throughout the house.

  "I have a bar in the back room. When you've changed, come and join us."

  As the girl lugged her case upstairs Will again pondered Josie. What with Lana working behind the bar and now Lolita moving in, there was going to be a bloody great woman scorned-type explosion. The phone ringing again, he went into the kitchen and closed the door. "Now what," he murmured, grabbing the receiver.

  "You've abducted one of my nuns," the Reverend Mother hissed.

  "What the fuck are you talking about?" Will asked.

  "Don't you use foul language like that."

  "I'll use whatever cunting language I fucking like."

  "My God, you're vulgar. You have abducted Sister Crotchly"

  "I've done nothing of the sort, you hairy slime-ball."

  "Right, that does it. I shall bring a police officer with me to search your house. If the girl's there, and I'm sure she is, you're going to be in deep shit."

  "Blimey, talk about my foul language."

  "The Bishop will also be accompanying me. This is the end, Entercock. Your demise is imminent."

  Fuck it, Will thought as the slag hung up. If the police discovered the bar there was going to be real trouble. "Fuck it," he cursed under his breath as laughter emanated from the bar. Wondering why everyone was out to get him, he grabbed a can of lager from the fridge. He was going to have to think of something, and fast. There was nothing illegal about a girl living with him, he reflected, swigging from the can.

  Chapter Five

  Hiding in the bushes a hundred yards or so down the lane from his house, Will formulated his plan. The Reverend Slagger would come waddling along at any minute, he knew as he peered out of the bushes. He'd waylay her and her gang, tell the police officer that there had been a burglary at Father Kosher's church. The man would have to investigate, which would keep him busy for a while. A diversion, Will mused, wondering whether to set fire to the convent. All those cunny-stained knickers up in smoke? A criminal waste.

  "Ah, there you are," he cried, leaping out of the bushes as the Reverend Mother approached with PC Bridlington and the Bishop. "There's been a severe burglary at Father Kosher's church, Constable. You'd better get there as soon as you can if not sooner."

  "You're lying," the Bishop returned angrily, his pimpled nose twitching.

  "Of course I'm not lying. Good grief, I'm an ex-reverend."

  "Exactly."

  "There are robbers in the very act of robbing as we speak"

  "I'd better check it out," the constable said, turning his bike around and cycling at full speed down the lane.

  "You needn't think that you're going to get away with this," the Reverend Mother scowled. "I know you've abducted one of my nuns."

  "I haven't abducted anyone," Will returned irately. "Sister Crotchly rang me from the convent just now. How on earth can she be an abductee when she's at the convent?"

  "She couldn't have phoned you," the Reverend Mother said, suspicion reflected in her beady eyes. "There's no way..."

  "That's a point," the Bishop frowned, rubbing his chin. "She left with her bag..."

  "Shut up," the Reverend Mother hissed, kicking the man's shin.

  "I don't know what's going on," Will sighed, deciding to thrash the arse off the lying girl the minute he got home. And shave her vulval flesh and spunk her mouth and cock-fuck her hot anal duct and spunk her bowels and... "I think you'd better go and talk to the girl. She rang me and said something about a devious plan."

  "A devious plan?" the Reverend Mother frowned.

  "She said something about a devious plan involving her leaving with her suitcase and..."

  "Er... Yes, we'll go back to the convent," the Bishop murmured. "There's obviously been a mistake."

  Returning to his house as the cunning pair walked down the lane, Will rushed upstairs to find Lolita's naked body sprawled across his bed. It was hard to believe that she was part of a devious plan to bring about his downfall, he mused, eyeing the violin curves of her beautiful body. She'd seemed so anti the Reverend Mother, so genuine in her hatred for the cow bag woman. To think that she'd agreed to trap him like this was incredible. Deciding not to let on that he knew of her wicked trickery, he sat on the edge of the bed.

  "I thought you were coming to join us in the bar," he smiled, running his fingers up and down the smooth flesh of her lickable inner thigh.

  "I was about to," she replied, stretching her limbs and parting her legs slightly. "I thought I'd relax for a while first."

  "I'm an extremely observant man, Lolita. As I came in, I couldn't help but notice that you're naked. Completely naked in your complete nakedness."

  "Yes, I was... I was fucking hot."

  She was very hot. "Talking of heat, there's been a fire at the convent," he enlightened her, moving to the window.

  "A fire?" she gasped, her firm breasts bouncing as she sat up. "Fuck me."

  He intended to. "There's no need to worry, the fire's under control."

  "I'd better get back and..."

  "There's no need for you to go back, Lolita. You can stay here for as long as you like. After all, that is what you wanted."

  "Yes, but..."

  "Oh, here comes the Reverend Mother," he said, moving the net curtain aside. "And there's a police officer with her."

  "Really?" the girl grinned, reclining on the bed with her legs spread wide.

  "They can't be coming here," he said, taking something from the bedside cabinet. "Perhaps they're talking a walk into the village to do a little window shopping while the fire's being dealt with."

  "Why don't
you take your cassock off and come and join me?" she breathed huskily, running her hands over the firm hillocks of her petite breasts.

  "Now that is a good idea," Will smiled. "But I have a better idea. Are you into bondage?"

  "Oh yes," she beamed excitedly, gazing at two pairs of handcuffs dangling from Will's hand.

  "What a coincidence. Bondage happens to be my forte."

  Cuffing the girl's wrists to the brass bedstead, he parted her feet and cuffed her ankles to the posts at the bottom of the bed. Eyeing her cunny he felt his penis twitch and stiffen beneath his cassock. This was exactly what the wicked girl had wanted, he knew as her wide eyes darted between him and the closed door. She was expecting the Reverend Mother to burst in with the long arm of the law, and the pimple-nosed fucker of a Bishop. They'd discover her plight and Will would end up well and truly fucked. But the girl was about to discover that she was very much alone in her plight. No one was going to save her.

  With Lana running the bar, Will had more than enough time to administer Lolita's punishment, the scourging of her biteable buttocks. The Reverend Slagger and the toss-pot Bishop would be searching the convent for the missing nun, PC Bridlington would be searching Kosher's church for a band of desecration-minded robbers, and Lolita... Lolita was going to be sexually tortured for her wickedness. Again eyeing the girl's yawning vaginal slit, the dark curls of her pubes sprouting from her teenage mons, he let out a wicked chuckle as he walked across the room.

  Taking Josie's can of depilating cream from the dressing table, Will squirted the contents over Lolita's vulval flesh. Protesting wildly, she struggled and writhed, pulling on her bonds as he massaged the cooling cream into the black curls of her pubic hair. Ignoring her cries, her vile expletives, he took a pair of steel nipple clamps from the bedside table and perched on the edge of the bed. She had fine tits, he observed, kneading each in turn as the girl again hissed expletives at him. Placing a clamp over her left nipple, wondering what her problem was as she spat at him, he slowly tightened the screw.

  "No," she gasped, her brown bud painfully swelling as he pinched the clamp around her areola. "I don't want my fucking pubes removed or my..."